Text Nation

You just got done arguing with your boyfriend for the millionth time about whose turn it is to buy toilet paper. In tears and exhausted, you finally realize the relationship has expired. The only complication? Breaking the poor guy’s heart.

You could sit him down for a one on one and smash his heart into pieces, complete with awkward silences and trembling lips. Or you could shoot him a quick email, which he probably won’t check until Monday anyway. You ultimately decide that the most appealing option, however, is to spare both of you from being uncomfortable and send him a “breakup text”.

Wait a second…breakup with someone via text?

While this once seemed unfathomable and too coldhearted to actually follow through with, text messaging is quickly making small talk obsolete and becoming the substitute for face to face communication in even the most serious of situations.

Text messaging is giving reason for the shy, lazy, and way-too-busy to rejoice all at the same time.

Ending a long overdue relationship is only one way people are taking advantage of texting’s convenience. Timid employees everywhere are tapping away, sending their employers texts to let them know they’ll be late, that they’ll need vacation time in December, or that they won’t even be coming into the office at all. Those who can’t find the courage to make a direct phone call to the powers that be find comfort in the text message, which avoids stuttering excuses or faking niceties altogether.

Those who can’t seem to stay afloat in the dating pool find comfort in messaging as well. Bashful boys (and girls) who aren’t willing to take the chance of rejection find it easier to type out a quick, “what are you doing tonight?” then dialing someone’s number or (gasp!) asking them out in person. After all, not getting a return text is a lot easier on the ego than turning bright red after you’ve been turned down (and inevitably tripping after walking away).

The lazy have reason to celebrate our techno-advanced communication methods as well. When it comes down to it, who really has time to make 30 phone calls just to see what everyone’s weekend plans are? The “Send to all” button can be pretty convenient when you’re sitting at home wondering who’s plans are the most worthwhile of your acquaintances. Countless cell phones are blown up on the weekends with mass texts asking who will be at what bar. If they respond with a lame “nothing, I’m studying”? Delete! Wait for the next response.

However, it’s after the bars that text messaging can be dangerous. It’s quite possible that there is a market for cell phone breathalyzers, making it impossible to text if you’re over a .08. If you can’t drive, you probably shouldn’t be calling your ex to explain that you’ve never really gotten over him. Or telling your best friend her boyfriend cheated on her through a 2 am text. Drinking and texting can be an embarrassing combination, giving the offender not only liquid courage but also the semi-anonymity of the text.

While texting definitely isn’t a serious problem amidst important issues like war and poverty, it does have some important implications. The art of conversation is slowly going down the drain, with more and more people jumping on the text bandwagon everyday.

So what’s the solution? Next time you’re tempted to text your mom to see how her day is going, schedule a lunch date. And if you’re stuck in traffic for the 20th time and afraid to tell your boss you’ll be late yet again? Suck it up and pick up the phone!