Who needs a costume when you have skin?

Exotic zone ball, Mandango’s Halloween Bash, The “WICKED” costume party at MoMo Lounge, or your neighbor’s annual costume gala. What do all of these things have in common? Skin, skin, and yep… even more skin. Oh yeah, and about 300 look-alikes.

After partaking in several Halloween festivities this week and last, I feel like my eyeballs need to be washed out with Dial! Since when did the meaning of Halloween change from goblins and ghouls to sex and skin?

Since the meaning of the Fall holiday seems to have been hopelessly lost, here’s a little background information to fill you in.

Halloween first started with the Celts about 2,000 plus years back. They celebrated their new year on November 1st in a tradition called “Samhain“. Their belief was that the night before, on October 31st, the ghosts of the dead came to earth to wreak havoc on crops and help priests foresee the future. Fast forward to after the Romans conquered the Celts and they combined two of their festivals together with the Celts.

In late October the Romans celebrated Feralia (the passing of the dead) and the honoring of the Pomona, who was the goddess of fruit and trees. Have you ever bobbed apples at a Fall Festival? Now you know why.

After Christianity became influential, three celebrations became widespread: All Saints’ Day to celebrate the (you guessed it) saints, All-Hallowmas the night before, and All Souls’ day to celebrate the dead by dressing up as angels, devils, or saints. This is where the tradition of dressing in costumes came about. Combine all of the above and you have what we now know and love as Halloween.

Unfortunately, present day Halloween celebrations are looking less like a celebration of the dead and more like a celebration of the erotic. Take for example 100.5 the Zone’s Annual Exotic Zone Ball. Bragged to be the biggest Halloween party in all of California, it features a bondage stage where those who wish to can partake in some gold old fashioned torture, a lap dance area, and a human petting zone. Every year gets a little more risqué and a little less spooky.

Plus, Sacramentans seem to have lost any sense of originality. Every year, without fail, there seems to be an overload of naughty nurses, randy referees, sexy schoolgirls, frisky firefighters, and kinky cops. Word to the wise: just because you put “sexy” in front of a costume doesn’t make it cute. Spare partygoers eyes and cover yourself up!

Guys, you aren’t off the hook either. How many gangsters, jailbirds, and doctors can fit into one room?

To be fair, I think it’s only right to give props to the best (and surprisingly original) costumes around town so far this year, in no particular order:

1) Britney Spears (umbrella, half-shaved head, baby bottle with Diet Coke in it)
2) Borat with his neon mankini
3) Justin Timberlake’s “D*ck in a Box”
4) 80s Workout Girl

5) The Wendy’s orange-pigtailed guy
6) Lindsey Lohan/Nicole Richie/Paris Hilton jailbirds
7) Terrorist, complete with gas mask (although possibly politically incorrect)
8) Old farts (walkers, cardigans, mesh trucker hats)
9) The Walking Keg that actually had alcohol in it
10) Nip/Tuck’s Kimber (stitches on the mouth)

Next year around this time I challenge Sacramento to bring back the true meaning of Halloween: deck yourself out in the most original costume you can think of, construct a haunted house that will leave people’s vocal chords raw from screaming , and for goodness sake: keep your clothes on while you do it!

'Tis the season... and I just can't wait!

It’s almost here: the smell of gingerbread cookies and cinnamon candles will waft into my nostrils on a daily basis, storefronts will glimmer with silver tinsel and fake snow, and there will be a general feeling of goodwill and joyfulness penetrating the atmosphere. Ladies and Gentleman, Christmas is about to arrive!

I find a different reason to love the holiday every time December rolls around, but the warm feeling of holiday cheer infiltrates every inch of my body right on cue every year.

Perhaps the greatest joy of all is seeing the excitement in a child’s face in anticipation of the 25th. The youngest ones take pride in their handcrafted popsicle stick ornaments and picking out the “perfect” tree, even if it closely resembles Charlie Brown’s infamous Evergreen. Some little ones spend hours on their computers constructing wish lists of toys, complete with full descriptions and price comparisons, with enough pages to reach the moon and back. On the night of Christmas Eve, children can barely stop wriggling long enough to catch a wink of sleep, hoping to catch a glimpse of Saint Nick snacking on the Snackwells cookies they laid out.

Children and adults alike seem to be sprinkled with sugar and spice and everything nice, turning into regular saints around this time. Those who like to curse at the homeless men begging on Arden way the rest of the year are now compelled to donate cans to the hungry or buy a little girl a Barbie doll as part of the Wish Tree. The sounds of the Salvation Army’s bells fill the air and people are more than happy to unload their change. It’s unfortunate that this doesn’t go on the entire year, but you have to start somewhere right?

On a more shallow level, we can’t forget the all-consuming smells and tastes of the holiday season, which leave my senses in a state of month-long euphoria.

Fragrance and cosmetic companies jump on the chance to market special-edition peppermint lip glosses, cinnamon body scrubs, and vanilla sprays. Candle shops offer a plethora of Christmas-themed wax goodies, and almost every place you walk into smells like it’s been sprayed with a “Christmas” air freshener.

So your taste buds don’t feel left out, there’s a smorgasbord of holiday specials in every café and candy shop around town. Starbucks offers my favorite seasonal treat called the Cranberry Bliss Bar, a mixture of cranberries and vanilla frosting to go along with their peppermint mochas and gingerbread lattes. Holiday cheer can also be found in the form of cookies, cakes, and candy canes that are either for sale or offered up by friends and neighbors. Peppermint ice cream anyone? Yum!

Even better than material objects is the theme of family that becomes so widespread by the end of the year. The hustle and bustle of everyday life comes to a halt as relatives come together to share a hearty meal, a glass (or four) of eggnog, and catch up on the year’s happenings. While not everyone has the time to catch up with Aunt Martha on a weekly basis, Christmas is the perfect excuse to do just that. There aren’t many moments that bring more contentment than realizing how lucky you are to be cozy, well-fed, and surrounded by loved ones on a holiday.

Whether you celebrate Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, or none of the above, you’re sure to encounter (and enjoy) some of the many perks of the holiday season.

The only downside to the festivities? That they can’t last the whole year!

Inked... what now?

Tattoos, artwork, ink… or how about a huge mistake? Call them what you want, but one thing for sure is that tattoos are just about everywhere…and tattoo laser removal is a growing industry that just might be about to get it’s big break.

A far cry from a few years back, most people won’t even take a second look if they see a 90-year-old man marked up with a naked chick on his not-so-muscular bicep. Whatever makes him feel young right? It’s probably not even too far off to assume that those serious-looking, high-profile attorneys and frowning politicians walking around Downtown Sacramento have a few pieces of artwork discreetly hidden under their power suits.

While tattoos are finally becoming socially acceptable, it seems that people are putting less consideration into getting ink injected into their dermis.

Young newlyweds run to the tattoo parlor to commemorate their “foreverness” by getting each other’s names scrawled across the body part of their choice. Bands just starting out might celebrate their newfound success with matching back pieces. And while most shops say that they won’t ink someone under the influence, the drunk guy determined to get a tattoo of his own face on his derrière will somehow find a way. But what happens if your “soul mate” runs away with your best friend? Or if the band mates have a falling out and end up despising each other? Or when you get out of the shower and see your own face on your BEHIND?

Tattoo removal, there's your cue.

While it used to be an excruciatingly painful process involving dermabrasion (hardcore scrubbing), laser technology has made the removal process a little more pleasant. Lasers administer pulses of light and are absorbed by the tattoo, which often penetrate the second or even third layer of skin below the surface. The ink’s pigment is broken up into tiny particles which is absorbed into the blood and cleaned out by the body’s immune system.

Depending on the size, location, depth, density, and age of the tattoo it might take over a year for the tattoo to fade completely. Even then, 10 percent of tattoos still remain visible. But because there are so many different types of ink used by artists, it is impossible to pinpoint the exact type used and physicians must basically experiment until the eyesore disappears.

Anyone looking to start the process should be prepared to empty their pockets. While prices vary at different clinics, clients should expect to pay anywhere from $200 up to $1000 per session. Amateur tattoos might require only one to four sessions but professionally done tattoos can take anywhere from six on up. Plus, the more sessions needed, the longer they are spaced apart. A quick half hour tattoo session can easily turn into a year-long waiting game since it’s never guaranteed how many removal sessions might be needed.

The pale girl that thought it might be fun to get a sleeve of solid black? She actually might have been onto something. The lighter your skin, the easier it is to get rid of the art. Lasers have a hard time distinguishing ink from darker skin. Also, darker ink fades faster than colors and areas of your body with more circulation (arms, chest, etc.) will break up the ink faster.

As long as the needles keep buzzing, there are sure to be clinics popping up all around town. Websites such as tattooremoval.org and tattooremoval411.com can help you get started undoing your mistake. They offer listings of the phone numbers and addresses of credible clinics and laser technicians all across the US.

Tattoo artists probably won’t quit inking anytime soon, and laser services clinics couldn‘t be more thrilled.

Just remember… think before you ink.

YouTube... you can run but you can't hide

Thinking back a few years ago, I never thought I would see the day where I would be assigned my homework via YouTube… but the day has officially arrived.

YouTube, aside from MySpace, is possibly one of the most popular websites in the internet stratosphere. Almost anything that your heart desires (or eyes, rather) can be found on the site, featuring a wide range of videos, from Britney Spears’ train-wreck MTV Video Music Award performance to self-made videos by Apple iPhone customers decoding their outrageously thick bills.

The Tube’s birthday was back in February 2005, when three former employees from PayPal got together to create the service, which uses Adobe Flash to broadcast its files. Google then made a smart move and bought out the company for a grand $1.65 billion in Google stock in late 2006.

A video network for the pathetically bored, the insanely talented, and those who just want to catch up on Paris Hilton‘s latest mistake, YouTube has something to offer to everyone. Members can upload their own videos and blogs, download their favorite music performances, and even rate posted videos among about a million other features.

Much to celebrities' chagrin, their every moves (the good and bad) are at the world’s disposal thanks to video sharing. Just ask David Hasselhoff, who suffered not only public mockery but loss of custody of his children after he was filmed wiggling around on the floor, attempting to eat a cheeseburger (he failed) after he tossed back a few too many. The video not only made it to YouTube within 48 hours, but made it to top headlines on news programs and was hot gossip throughout the internet blogosphere.

On the other end of the spectrum, former “nobodies” are experiencing fame they, and most everyone else in the world, can hardly believe because of their home videos. This is the story for Chris Crocker, who famously wailed and chastised the public for being so cruel to Britney Spears and begged for her mercy. He can now be seen rubbing elbows with Alexis Arquette and other stars at some of LA’s most exclusive nightclubs.

Many are also familiar with the rise of “Obama Girl”, actress Amber Lee Ettinger, who flirtatiously lip-synched her love to presidential candidate Barack Obama this year in a video that seems like it was seen by everyone. From there Ettinger was featured on the cover of “Steppin’ Out” magazine, interviewed by big dogs Fox News and CNN and has a website which claims to be “The Home of Obama Girl.” Plus, she sparked the fame of other wannabes… do the “Giuliani Girls” sound familiar?

In addition to being the downfall of some celebs and the rise of those desperately seeking fame, YouTube has brought forth a wave of conveniences to classrooms all over. Many professors across the country are using clips from YouTube to supplement their classroom lectures and homework, which might just might perk the interest of the younger and tech-savvy generations. And it’s likely that almost all students would rather watch their assignments then listen to their instructors drone on and on…and on.

Perhaps one of the best features of video-sharing is exposing controversy. Soldiers in Iraq have had their videos removed after filming overseas, but were at least able to reach a small group of viewers before the ban. Watchdog groups such as Cop Watch LA and others have used the forum to encourage investigations of police brutality, posting videos of questionable police conduct. Another shocking video even showed a young toddler, suspected to be under the influence of ecstasy, riding on the floor of a vehicle with her eyes rolling back in her head while her caretakers laughed uncontrollably.

For the good or the bad, thousands of videos being added everyday and the options are endless.

What are you waiting for? Pick up the webcam… your audience is waiting.

Lisa Daily... coming to a relationship near you!

Making an empire out of women desperate to find true love, Lisa Daily is single handedly conquering the dating world… one “Dreamgirl” at a time. Author of the bestselling book Stop Getting Dumped and a columnist featured on up to 150 websites per month, Daily is considered a relationship guru and an expert on what makes men tick and the secrets of women who set them off.

Giving out dating and relationship advice for years, Daily finally decided to turn her expertise into profit… in more ways than one. Not only did her “skills” get her the man of her dreams (who proposed on the Eiffel Tower after only six months of dating), but her knowledge has scored her an abundance of fame and fortune.

Daily’s columns, TV appearances, and radio segments all have one common goal: to turn those seeking Mr. Right into a “Dreamgirl”. As her website describes it, every women has it in her: “the one who has a fantastic job, spends three days a week helping out at a soup kitchen…and always has the right shoes, no matter what the occasion.”

She enjoys much success as she appears weekly as a dating expert on Lifetime Radio and her syndicated dating column is featured not only on websites but in college newspapers across the US. To date, she has been a guest on more than 700 television and radio shows. Plus, in 2005 she was featured in the comedy Hitch as a “real-life date doctor” on the movie’s special features.
Her advice promises to help you find “the one” and weed out all of the jerks, because god knows there‘s an abundance of them. The legitimate guidance she gives will definitely leave you scratching your head and wondering, “why didn’t I think of that in my last relationship?”

In the second chapter of her coveted book, she stresses the importance of spoiling yourself. She advises all women to drink tons of water and always look your best in flattering clothes because you never know where you’ll meet the man of your dreams. She also stresses the importance of treating yourself to something indulgent once a week… even if it’s only relaxing with a bag of cold peas on your eyes.

Women who have been unlucky in love can seek out her services by enrolling in her “Dreamgirl Academy“, which is held annually at the Learning Annex in New York. Those who attend can anticipate learning how to become a sought after woman, how to avoid mistakes often made in relationships, how to stay on a man’s mind and how to always have the time of your life.

If you can’t make it to an academy, date coaching is also offered over the phone. Or, if the idea of calling someone for dating advice makes you feel a little too desperate (which is totally understandable), some of her tips can be found in her column and on her website, stopgettingdumped.com.

While Daily has faced some criticism for her traditional ideas about dating and relationships featured in her columns, she turns the other cheek and continues to dole out advice anyway.

Sure, it might not be totally feasible to drop your current profession and go out and fill your shoe racks with all the latest Jimmy Choos. It might even seem insane to pay for advice to score a man. But rooted in all of her advice is the best of them all: how to be confident. If you dig deep enough, every girl has a kick-ass chick inside of her somewhere. If her success is any indication, Lisa Daily just might be the one to bring it out.