Who needs a costume when you have skin?

Exotic zone ball, Mandango’s Halloween Bash, The “WICKED” costume party at MoMo Lounge, or your neighbor’s annual costume gala. What do all of these things have in common? Skin, skin, and yep… even more skin. Oh yeah, and about 300 look-alikes.

After partaking in several Halloween festivities this week and last, I feel like my eyeballs need to be washed out with Dial! Since when did the meaning of Halloween change from goblins and ghouls to sex and skin?

Since the meaning of the Fall holiday seems to have been hopelessly lost, here’s a little background information to fill you in.

Halloween first started with the Celts about 2,000 plus years back. They celebrated their new year on November 1st in a tradition called “Samhain“. Their belief was that the night before, on October 31st, the ghosts of the dead came to earth to wreak havoc on crops and help priests foresee the future. Fast forward to after the Romans conquered the Celts and they combined two of their festivals together with the Celts.

In late October the Romans celebrated Feralia (the passing of the dead) and the honoring of the Pomona, who was the goddess of fruit and trees. Have you ever bobbed apples at a Fall Festival? Now you know why.

After Christianity became influential, three celebrations became widespread: All Saints’ Day to celebrate the (you guessed it) saints, All-Hallowmas the night before, and All Souls’ day to celebrate the dead by dressing up as angels, devils, or saints. This is where the tradition of dressing in costumes came about. Combine all of the above and you have what we now know and love as Halloween.

Unfortunately, present day Halloween celebrations are looking less like a celebration of the dead and more like a celebration of the erotic. Take for example 100.5 the Zone’s Annual Exotic Zone Ball. Bragged to be the biggest Halloween party in all of California, it features a bondage stage where those who wish to can partake in some gold old fashioned torture, a lap dance area, and a human petting zone. Every year gets a little more risqué and a little less spooky.

Plus, Sacramentans seem to have lost any sense of originality. Every year, without fail, there seems to be an overload of naughty nurses, randy referees, sexy schoolgirls, frisky firefighters, and kinky cops. Word to the wise: just because you put “sexy” in front of a costume doesn’t make it cute. Spare partygoers eyes and cover yourself up!

Guys, you aren’t off the hook either. How many gangsters, jailbirds, and doctors can fit into one room?

To be fair, I think it’s only right to give props to the best (and surprisingly original) costumes around town so far this year, in no particular order:

1) Britney Spears (umbrella, half-shaved head, baby bottle with Diet Coke in it)
2) Borat with his neon mankini
3) Justin Timberlake’s “D*ck in a Box”
4) 80s Workout Girl

5) The Wendy’s orange-pigtailed guy
6) Lindsey Lohan/Nicole Richie/Paris Hilton jailbirds
7) Terrorist, complete with gas mask (although possibly politically incorrect)
8) Old farts (walkers, cardigans, mesh trucker hats)
9) The Walking Keg that actually had alcohol in it
10) Nip/Tuck’s Kimber (stitches on the mouth)

Next year around this time I challenge Sacramento to bring back the true meaning of Halloween: deck yourself out in the most original costume you can think of, construct a haunted house that will leave people’s vocal chords raw from screaming , and for goodness sake: keep your clothes on while you do it!